An Example Of What God Has Done In My Life

I am petrified of selling (when I think about it) but that fear melts away as I actually take action and work at it.  I dreaded to contact my friends about a MLM "business opportunity" that I was involved in during the 1990's, but when I actually got on the phone and started talking to people, I found that the connection was enjoyable and the sale didn’t matter.  I flopped in that business but grew exponentially as a person and made some of the best choices in my life since that experience.

This emotion of fear (that I associate with selling) I believe, has its origins in my youth and the feeling of rejection I experienced when I would show interest in girls who were (or at least I imagined they were) "out of my league" and they responded with a clear lack of interest.  Obsessing about this (a condition fueled by a society that glorifies people who have success with dating), I developed an inferiority complex that crippled my social development and showed up in the symptoms of alcohol and drug abuse as well as an extensive quest for sexual satisfaction that resulted in depression and thoughts of suicide.

It wasn't until I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior did my life start to turn around.  I began to understand that what I really wanted was to love and be loved and that it didn’t matter if the love I gave was directly returned by the object of my affection.  I’ve grown more and more confident (not especially in me, but in Christ) and those symptoms have been eroding over the past 14 years as I live my life for him, using the bible as my guide.  I have found that I can share the unconditional love he has for me with others.

I've been clean and sober for over 12 years and am married to a beautiful woman who is very my best friend.  It's not like everything is rosy and every moment is happy.  I still occasionally think about drinking and using drugs, but I really don’t entertain those thoughts for very long.  I've had bouts with looking at pornography and depression over the years, but overall I've got a really good attitude and the length of time since my last descent into total self-obsession and debauchery has been growing.

I think that I might be able to use these life experiences to reach out and help others who are suffering with similar struggles.

Created In The Image Of God, But Not Always Looking Like It

Who we are supposed to be is directly related to who created us.  The truth is: we were made in the image of God and when we do things that are contrary to his will, problems arise in our lives.

To understand who I should be I look at the Word of God and study who He is, what He did and what other people who served him well did.  The characteristics that I find there are the ones that I strive to develop in my own life.  However, I often fall short of that ideal.

The difficulties I’ve known and the trials that I’ve been working through are what I call my “struggles in life”.  These experiences are part of what has molded me into who I am.  Throughout my life I’ve been imperfect and humbled, and by exposing my vulnerability it makes me approachable and therefore useful.  I can be of help to others because I can relate to people who have been in similar situations and they can relate to me.  By sharing our struggles with each other, we can see that we are not alone or weird or outcasts but instead we are part of a community because of the troubles we are going through.

Help Someone And Be Blessed

In defining my Unique Core Ministry I am seeking how my life experience can be of value to others.  In this quest one thing that comes to the surface is my focus on individuals and using my trials and suffering for their benefit.  At first blush this may seem to be a contradiction, I’m in trouble with something and needing help, and somehow this is supposed to help someone else?  Well it does, when you understand that by focusing on others, our own problems dissolve.

It has been my experience that by giving we always receive back more than we gave.   I have seen this work over and over again as long as the spirit of the giving is unselfish.  It’s not like an investment done for profit, but a gift given in love.  I don’t expect that spending time with a lonely, elderly person is going to compensate me financially, however, somehow I am richer for the experience.  I’ve heard stories of people inheriting great fortunes because of their generosity, but I don’t believe that type of outcome can be consciously engineered, it’s God’s way of administering justice and his bookkeeping is perfect.

Even though caring for another hurting person can be frustrating and seem unrewarding, it’s always going to bless you for being a blessing.  And at the end of the day, it just feels right to do the right thing even if you didn’t directly earn any money for your efforts.

How Can My Experience Be Of Value To You?

It’s pretty clear to me how my experience in video production is of value to someone who is interested in making a motion picture (that also includes sound recording).  I’ve spent years perfecting techniques and studying what works and doesn’t work (frame by frame) in making a high quality movie.  I own a plethora of high quality production equipment and know how to use (most of it) efficiently.  But, how does my life experience help others to have a better relationship with our creator?

I’ve made some major mistakes and paid a price for my foolishness.  For example, I spent way too much time “experimenting” with mind-altering substances before I started to act on what my heart was telling me all along: I am higher and happier when not under the influence of drugs and alcohol - plus I never have to buy more (because I never run out of) sobriety.  Now, how do I teach that to someone else?  Also, I have learned that my personal worries dissolve when I give my full attention to the needs of another person, now, how do I employ that truth into my daily walk so that (by living it) others can learn from my experiences?

I’m open to suggestions and willing to learn new techniques of using what is unique about my life (both the good and the bad) to benefit others.  My struggles and difficulties (both past and present) are opportunities to communicate with people who may be open now (or will be open in the future) to avoid similar pitfalls or to offer an encouraging hand up out of the pit they may feel trapped in now.

I Write And I Sing For You

The purpose of my writing is to reach out to other people and make a positive difference in their lives.  Music is such a powerful influence on thought and thoughts are a huge influence on the heart.  A good message tied to a memorable melody can touch another person for the betterment of that individual and (through the change in them) the lives of others also.  That is why (even in my secular songwriting) I make an effort to keep the lyrics as uplifting as I can.

I use the Word of God as an example and model for what I do.  It was written to be read so that the message from the LORD could be shared and passed on down through successive generations.  Its purpose is to reach us today and influence the people who read it to make choices for God’s glory.  However, writing does not communicate unless someone reads what is written and is changed by what they read.  Songs unsung do not achieve their purpose, so I sing to give life to words through music.

It is my deeply held belief that by reading the bible, writing and sharing what I write (the Word of God filtered through my experiences) I am living to reach people and influence them for the Kingdom of Heaven.  This is one way I fulfill the purpose God has created me for.

Why I Am Happier Now

I used to be much more concerned about what I was going to do next and that caused me a considerable amount of anxiety.  I would worry about what I’d done and said and fret about what I had to do to get what I wanted.  This wasn’t working very well for me because I was seldom satisfied.

I keep coming to the realization (and each time I do it’s on a deeper level) that no matter what I achieve there will always be something else I want.  So, I focus more on what I have now and how it is fulfilling to me.  Rather than considering what I am going to do next and how great I’m going to feel when it is done, I reflect on and appreciate all that God has given me already.

It’s a simple thought process that yields a tremendous amount of peace and satisfaction in my life while giving glory to the creator of the universe.

It Is A Good Thing To Know God

I’ve never been a traditionally “religious” person but my fervor for intimacy with God through Christ makes me a Christian.

The first time I knew that God was real was when someone told me that He knew me and was thinking of me long before I was ever born.  The revelation of His eternal wisdom drew me into a heartfelt desire to know Him personally.  This led to my accepting Jesus Christ (God as a human being) as my LORD, my savior and my friend.  Since that day I’ve found that the more I study the bible, the more I understand the truth and the deeper I know the reality of God.

Here’s what my experience has shown me: a life devoted to seeking the truth finds the joy of knowing pure Love by having the Spirit of God alive in your heart.

Besides that, I’ll never know that God does not exist. If I die and there is no afterlife, I’ll have no awareness and therefore never experience what it is to be without God.  So I choose to be aware of His existence, now.  I believe that the Word of God is true and I will live on after this life and come to know Him more and more, and in greater and greater fulfillment for eternity.  This worldview makes me happy, satisfied and grateful.  I do not understand why would someone would choose to believe otherwise.